Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Grandmother's love for Open Adoption...

This is one of my favorite people in the World! Her name is Toni Redfern and you all might recognize her from "THE R HOUSE" She is Lindsey's mother in law.
Toni was my young woman's leader when I was growing up. I just love her and she made a huge difference in my life! She is a wonderful and beautiful Grandma too. I asked her if she would share her thoughts on open adoption with us, from a Grandma's point of view. These are her thoughts :)

We have been blessed with 2 grandsons through the miracle of adoption.

Adoption was something I never really thought much about. When my oldest son found out he was unable to have biological children I knew right away we would welcome any child whether it was thru adoption or any other means. I automatically assumed (not even know much about opened or closed adoption) we would know the birth mom and possibly the birth father. It seemed natural, important and in the best interest of everyone. How could a child feel a sense of wholeness without knowing their story? There is a saying that the greatest gift parents can give their children is to love one another. Well, I would add to that the best gift we can give them is to love everyone involved in their life that is healthy for them. Not to say there weren’t some concerns. But in expressing a few concerns to my son... I loved what he said. “They (the birth parents) will be in their life as long as it is healthy for our children”. The children always come first. We have been blessed with 2 incredible birth mothers. One that came into our lives when she picked our kids when she was 7 months pregnant and one we knew for several years before she placed with our son and his wife. They are part of our family. They gave our family a gift that we can never repay.

They (the Birth Parents) are an important part of our grandson’s stories. Their pictures are in their rooms. They will grow up knowing and loving them. One thing I love most is our birth moms have developed a friendship. They have a bond. Their sons are brothers whom love each other. When they send gifts they send them to both boys. What a gift for our grandsons to have so many people who love them. They have grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. They have more love than imaginable on every side. What a blessing adoption has been in our lives!

1 comment:

  1. Toni,
    I adore you! I am so blessed to call you friend/sister! Your an amazing woman and grandma. Those boys are so lucky to have you as a grandma! I am sure the birth mothers in your family circle must feel so loved and apart of your family! Thank you again for sharing your thoughts! It means so much to me!