Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Desha's Story...

This is my beautiful friend Desha! She is one amazing Birth Mom! When my husband and I had decided it was time to adopt, I searched the internet to find anything I could on Adoption... that is when I found her beautiful adoption video. It had the most amazing song I had ever heard called "From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours." Her video touched my husband and I deeply. Tears streaming down our faces, we felt blessed for seeing it. Then a month later on a website called " Adoption Voices," Desha requested my friendship. When I realized WHO she was, you would of thought I had won the LOTTERY or met someone FAMOUS! I could not wait to meet her in person and was blessed with that opportunity as well! I adore Desha her story is beautiful! Please copy and paste the link to your browser and watch it. I could not figure out how to make it a direct video on here (SORRY)
Her First Video
Her Second Video
(7/29/09) chapter 2.

Her first Video will always remain on this blog in the left corner :) I just love it that much! I personally could watch it over and over!
Thank you Desha for sharing your adoption story with us in a unique way! Love ya!
For the RECORD... the beautiful belly with the hands that make a heart is DESHA'S :) She allowed me to use her picture for my blog! Thank you again Desha!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Jessalynn's story from birthmothers4adoption

Our next guest blogger you might know... Jessalynn from the popular blog http://birthmothers4adoption.blogspot.com/ I am excited to share her story,(she is a birth mom) I think she is an amazing woman! I love her blog and read it often.

I know you guys are probably sick of hearing from me but in light of National Adoption Month and the 15 Month anniversary of my placement I thought, Hey I haven't told my story yet on this site.

I met my birthfather in basic training, I thought I was in love...or maybe I was just smitten with the fact that he claimed to be in love with me...I still haven't decided. Anyway, I got home at the end of October, found out I was pregnant a couple days before I was to leave to college.

My biggest fear was telling my parents. I could think of nothing worse then seeing my parents faces when I gave them the biggest let down of their life. To look into their eyes and tell them that seemed impossible. After they had been told they didn't react too bad. They were dissapointed but mostly sad. After we had talked for a while, they told me to call my college and make sure I could still live in student housing. Luckily, I was still able to.

I moved in and because of some differences i moved to a different set of housing, then my life changed.... I walked into the apartment and I met this girl. Her name was Alyson. Now at first I wasn't a big fan of her, little did I know she would be the source of relief and overbounding joy, she would help me get through one of the hardest things of my life. After several days of 24/7 throwing up I figured I should probably divulge the information that I was with child. I told them and to my surprise they weren't totally rude to me, instead they opened up their arms to me. One day after having gone to LDS family services I had a pile of adoptive couple profiles. I was looking through them on the floor. I had a yes, no, maybe pile. I had certain things i really wanted. ( I am not going to share those because I fear that adoptive couples will feel they need to have those. This is not true. Every birthmother has different wants and needs.) Anyways...Alyson came in from class and asked what they were, I explained they were potential adoptive parents of my baby. Aly responded non chalantly and walked into her room. Minutes later she came back out and told me of her aunt in uncle who lived in another state. I told her to have them call me or send me their profile. Well her aunt called me on the phone. She sounded nice on the phone at first impression then I found more out about her and her family. They were involved in a lot of the activities I had hoped and dreamed that my baby would be able to be involved in as well. She had two other biological boys. Big brothers is something I had always wanted. Then she sent me their profile. I looked at that profile for hours. Scoping everything out. I cried, I smiled, I pondered.

One day, I just realized, This baby belongs to them. I had my caseworker set up a face to face so I could tell them. They thought I just wanted to meet them. I put together a basket with Alyson and had it all ready for them when they came down. I was very excited, nervous, and scared. I probably tried on like 7 outfits...Aly kept saying, " You look fine" My biggest fear was that they would think I was some stupid teenager who went out and got knocked up. When they walked into that room I felt calm instantly. Then when their boys walked in I KNEW I had made the right choice. They are the two sweetest most well mannered boys i have ever met. I handed them my basket with the sonogram and some baby stuff. They just looked at it. They didn't really say anything. I started to freak out then. No response I was worried they were going to say no. After the meeting we went to Ice Cream. We talked and I enjoyed getting to know them. Overall I was pretty quiet. I went home and I just cried that night. I can't think of anyway to describe it. You feel relief because you know you found the parents and yet you feel an overwhelming grief because it becomes real. I have never wept like I did then.

-- On August 20, 2008 Josie Jeanne was born.

She had a hard time getting here, but she made it. I regret it with all my might but I didn't even hold her right after she was born. I was just so exhausted. But on the other hand I think it was a good thing. She was able to have that bonding moment with her parents. The next two days went by so fast. Then I had to place that beautiful baby girl into their arms at placement. It was the hardest moment of my life. I didn't ever think in a million years I could feel hurt like that. But I did. I placed her in their arms and I walked out. That night I went to my parents house and didn't sleep at all. I was in shock. I kept putting my hand on my stomach. I was missing my baby girl. I wept, I looked at pictures. I missed her so so much. I cried for probably three months straight. Then in November I had the chance to see her for the first time since placement. When I held that baby girl again, the sadness started to heal, when I saw her with her family and how well she fit in, the sadness was even more alleviated. I knew she fit. She belonged to them!

I went home feeling worlds better. Skipping ahead. When I was getting ready to go to her sealing my friend who had planned on going with me skipped out. So I invited the guy who I had only been dating for a week (I know crazy! Yes, we are still together! lol ) and my birthmother friend and of course Aly. We went and I had some time with Josie before both the blessing and the sealing. When they came out of the temple they looked so beautiful. They looked so happy. It tore me up and made me happy all at the same time. But it was then I knew with no doubt in my mind I made the right choice.

Josie's adoptive parents are the most amazing people I have ever met and I am so thankful for them. I am thankful for their two sons. I am thankful for Aly. Most of all I am thankful for God.
19 months later I still miss Josie every once in a while and I still think about her everyday. But it gets better everyday. I can not ever regret my decision because she is with who she belongs to.
I know that when she grows up she will know who i am and how I feel about her. She will know she is loved by a ridiculous amount of people. She is a beautiful girl and is growing to be more beautiful everyday. I love my Josie!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Grandmother's love for Open Adoption...

This is one of my favorite people in the World! Her name is Toni Redfern and you all might recognize her from "THE R HOUSE" She is Lindsey's mother in law.
Toni was my young woman's leader when I was growing up. I just love her and she made a huge difference in my life! She is a wonderful and beautiful Grandma too. I asked her if she would share her thoughts on open adoption with us, from a Grandma's point of view. These are her thoughts :)

We have been blessed with 2 grandsons through the miracle of adoption.

Adoption was something I never really thought much about. When my oldest son found out he was unable to have biological children I knew right away we would welcome any child whether it was thru adoption or any other means. I automatically assumed (not even know much about opened or closed adoption) we would know the birth mom and possibly the birth father. It seemed natural, important and in the best interest of everyone. How could a child feel a sense of wholeness without knowing their story? There is a saying that the greatest gift parents can give their children is to love one another. Well, I would add to that the best gift we can give them is to love everyone involved in their life that is healthy for them. Not to say there weren’t some concerns. But in expressing a few concerns to my son... I loved what he said. “They (the birth parents) will be in their life as long as it is healthy for our children”. The children always come first. We have been blessed with 2 incredible birth mothers. One that came into our lives when she picked our kids when she was 7 months pregnant and one we knew for several years before she placed with our son and his wife. They are part of our family. They gave our family a gift that we can never repay.

They (the Birth Parents) are an important part of our grandson’s stories. Their pictures are in their rooms. They will grow up knowing and loving them. One thing I love most is our birth moms have developed a friendship. They have a bond. Their sons are brothers whom love each other. When they send gifts they send them to both boys. What a gift for our grandsons to have so many people who love them. They have grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. They have more love than imaginable on every side. What a blessing adoption has been in our lives!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

An Inspiring Thought....

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qaulities as patience, faith, fortitude and humlity. All that we suffer and all that we endure especially if we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called children of God."
-- Orson F. Whitney

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The voice of an ADOPTED...

This guest blogger is an author of a book, "Someone’s Daughter: She’s adopted, but don’t tell." It shares her unique story and view point on her closed adoption. This is Aurette Bowes
story and her viewpoint. It is long but worth the read and is very insightful. Do you think that knowing your Birth Mother earlier in your life and having an open adoption would of made a difference for you? Meeting my birth mother and learning about half of my biological roots has helped me a lot. Although we no longer have any direct contact I would like to know more about her, as I think the more I know the more healing I will experience – it’s an ongoing process for me. I still feel there is a part of my life puzzle missing, however, because I don’t know my biological father at all, and I often wonder about him. But knowing half your origins is better than not knowing anything at all. So I think yes, an open adoption would have made a difference, as I would have been able to address all my questions to my birth mother along the way, as I encountered them.

When I was a little girl of about six or seven, my mother told me the following story: “Daddy always wanted a little girl with brown eyes and blonde hair. One day, we received a phone call from the hospital. ‘We have a baby girl here with brown eyes and blond hair,’ they said. ‘Do you want her?’ And Daddy said, ‘Wrap her up, we’re coming to fetch her.’”

Although I didn’t realise it at the time, this story was my first clue that I wasn’t my parents’ biological child.

Most children, at some stage during their lives, wonder whether or not they are adopted. The inherent knowledge that they aren’t is probably what enables them to confront their parents and deal with the question once and for all. Although I considered doing this many, many times, I was never able to gather enough courage to actually go ahead and ask, “Am I adopted?” I wrestled with this dilemma for my entire childhood and a large part of my adult life.

I was afraid to ask the question for two reasons: I was afraid of hurting my parents, and I was afraid of what the answer would be. Consequently, I was always on the lookout for clues that would bring me closer to a definite “yes” or “no” answer, and there were many that pointed to “yes”. Eventually, I convinced myself that it didn’t matter who my biological parents were. My mother and father had raised me and they were my parents. Who had given birth to me was irrelevant. I told myself this over and over again and eventually convinced myself that I believed it, that I had “made peace” with the issue and could put it behind me. Thus I pushed all my questions out of my head. I stopped looking for clues.

Psychologists will tell you that if you refuse to deal with any form of trauma or unresolved issue in your life and live in a state of constant denial, it will eventually catch up with you in one way or another. The question I had spent my whole life trying to avoid finally caught up with me when, at the age of 37, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. My counsellor, Fred, believed my failure to deal with the question of my suspected adoption was probably the largest contributing factor to my depression. The problem was I still did not have the courage to face my parents and the mere thought of doing so brought me to tears.

Fred kindly offered to ask the question for me. He called my mother one Friday evening and asked her what I had been too afraid to ask for so long. Later she said that when Fred said he had an important question to ask her, she knew immediately what is was. “It was as if I had been waiting for it,” she said. That’s probably why she didn’t hesitate to answer “yes”.

Fred arrived at my house the following morning to deliver the news.

It’s one thing to suspect you are adopted, it’s quite another to finally have it confirmed. In one word, my entire identity was completely wiped out. Everything I had been brought up to believe about who I was, my ancestral roots, was no longer true. The same thought kept running through my head, over and over again – my mother is not my mother, Dad is not my dad… I wasn’t related to anyone in my family. The only two people I could claim blood ties with were my children. They were my legacy, but my ancestry was a complete blank. I felt as if I were floating in a huge, black vacuum.

Suddenly, where I came from did matter. I had to know who had conceived me and given birth to me? I had to be someone’s daughter, but whose?

At first, my mother didn’t want me to search for my birth-mother. Now that I knew the truth, she wanted me to “forget about it and get on with my life”. She also didn’t want me to talk about it to anyone, not to my husband’s family. Not even my own children. She was afraid that they would no longer think of her as their grandmother. As ludicrous as this may sound, to her it was a very real fear.

I did everything she asked, but my psychiatrist said it would severely inhibit my healing. This is where I began to gain insight into the pain she had experienced and was still experiencing. It took me a long time to fully understand that her need for secrecy was not motivated by any form of selfish spite or malice, but by pain. Once I did – and that took a long time – my anger diffused and forgiveness became much easier.

As all adoptive mothers do, my mother felt threatened by the mere existence of my birth-mother. Like all adoptive mothers, she firmly believed that once I found my birth-mother I would say, “Thanks Mom for all you’ve done up to now, but I’m off to live with my real mother.”

No matter how hard I tried, I could not convince her that nothing was further from the truth. I had no intention of doing anything of the sort. I just needed to establish who I was – biologically.

I prayed long and hard for a resolution to the problem. I desperately wanted to search for my biological mother, but it was important that I had my mom’s blessing, otherwise it would be detrimental to our relationship. God provided resolution, and it came from the most unexpected source.

Just as I could only refer to my adoption as “the A word”, so it was for my mother. Yet she found the courage to write to the Department of Social Services and tell them that her adopted daughter wanted to find her biological parents and could they provide information. They replied that according to the law, only I could request such information. Neither she nor my birth-mother was allowed access to my birth records. All I had to do, they said, was make a request in writing, and include my identity number and maiden name.

She had done all she could. Now it was up to me. I was astounded. I knew only too well how difficult it must have been for her to write that letter, but she was prepared to put her pain aside so that I could have the answers I needed. That spoke volumes of the depth of her love for me. I was reminded of the saying: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

So now I had my mother’s blessing to search for my birth mother.

I wrote to Social Development and three weeks later received a letter. It was very brief. It provided the full name of my birth-mother and stated that she had been 19 years old when she had given birth to me and had legally placed me up for adoption about three days later. She had not named my father.

The letter also stated the name she had given me. That was a shock, in fact the biggest one. I never knew that birth-mothers were required to name the baby they intended to give up. I thought that was very cruel, but I learned later that this is done purely for record-keeping purposes.

I read the letter over and over again, especially her name, trying to find some sort of connection. I looked at my birth name and wondered why she had chosen that particular one. Was it a name she had always liked? Was it a family name? Or was it one she had simply chosen at random? Now I had even more questions.

Someone really had given me away. Now I knew who she was, I wanted more than anything to find her.

With the letter had come forms for me to fill in if I wanted Social Development to conduct a search. I filled them in that night and faxed them the following day. Now the big wait would begin and I had no idea how long it would be, or what results it would yield. I had to prepare myself for one of three results – that she would already be dead, or that she would be alive but wouldn’t want to see me. That was her legal right. The third was that she would be alive and would want to see me. Of the two, I feared the first one the most. If she were dead I would never find the answers to all the questions I had. If she was alive but didn’t want to see me, that would be a big blow, but given time she could change her mind. Of course, the best would be that she was alive and wanted to see me.

I hoped that I would not have to wait long than two years for them to find my birth-mother. But when God is involved, things happen differently. Two months after I requested a search I received a phone call from my social worker.

“Mrs Bowes, are you sitting down? I have found your mother, and she wants to see you!”

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t believe they had found her so quickly. But it would still be a few months before we would meet.

The social worker asked that I come see her so that she could explain the procedure to me. At our meeting she began by showing me the file of my birth records. It contained several documents, of which the social worker gave me copies. Together they told a story. First there was my original birth certificate with my birth name, the documents my birth mother had signed to give me up. There was also a non-disclosure form in which she agreed not to try to find out the identity of my adoptive parents. Then came my parent’s application for adoption, and the original social worker’s report on them when they had applied.

A brief description of my birth mother followed – that she had fallen pregnant and entered a home for unmarried mothers. Her specific request was that her condition remain a secret. I was to learn later that at the time only her mother and her sister knew of her pregnancy. Her brother only found out about my existence when I contacted her.

There was another document in my file legally placing me with my parents until my adoption was finalised. Six months after my birth I became their legal daughter, and there was a document stating this as well.

The social worker had one more document to show me, but the law prohibited her from making a copy of it, as only the original was allowed to exist. This was the document stating my legal change of identity from my birth name and surname to the name my parents had given me and their surname. My birth identity was crossed out with a large X and my new identity typed neatly next to it.

Many people have since asked me how I knew all these documents were actually about me. How could I be sure a mistake hadn’t been made and someone else’s file sourced. The answer is simple. I recognised my parents’ signatures. My father has a very assertive one and there was no mistaking it.
Social Development is very careful in protecting the identity and privacy of adoptees and their birth parents. Before Dawn and I could meet, we first had to communicate anonymously through the social worker and our respective counsellors. When I was ready I could write her a letter, which the social worker would fax to her and she would fax her response back. This would continue until we were both ready to proceed to the next step – a meeting.

We corresponded in this way for a short while, and eventually we were emailing each other directly. We asked all the questions about family etc. I learned that she was divorced and had brought up her three children alone.

Eventually we arranged to meet. When she saw me for the first time she burst into tears and clung to me for a long time. I was crying too but my tears were for a different reason. I felt no instantaneous connection with her as my mother. She was just another woman. In fact, for the first 20 minutes or so, I wanted to run away to my parents and wished with all my heart that they were there.

We spoke for a long time and I showed her photos of me growing up. She cried when she saw the ones of me as a baby. She answered all my questions, explained that she hadn’t had the financial means to enable her to keep me when I was born, and couldn’t deal with the social stigma of having an illegitimate child. She had named me after her sister and her brother.

She told me that after she told my father of her pregnancy she never saw him again. In those days it was not legally required for the mother to name the birth-father on the birth certificate and as she didn’t want any financial support from him, she had decided not to.

Shortly after this meeting, I became severely depressed to the extent that my psychiatrist told me I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and admitted me to hospital for about two weeks. Everything was simply too much to deal with and I was completely broken. I felt angry, betrayed, worthless.

For a long while I broke off all contact with my birth mother as I tried to heal. It took a very long time but counselling helped me to realise that I was only hurting myself by hanging on to my negative emotions. My birth mother and my parents had made what they honestly believed to be the right decision at the time. Over the years they had come to realise that they had made a mistake and now they were trying to make the decision right. “You can’t change the past,” my counsellor said. “Let it go.”

When I eventually saw the sense of letting go of the past, I was able to forgive and my true healing began. Shortly before my 39th birthday I telephoned my birth mother and told her I wanted to make peace and work at establishing a relationship.

After that we continued to correspond via email, but as time passed I began to realise we had less and less in common. Although she was a good person, essentially we were from two different worlds and had opposing sets of values and principles. The social worker had warned me that this often happened between adoptees and their birth-mothers.

The stress of having two mothers in my life continued to take its toll. My mother was being very brave and trying extremely hard to support me through everything, but I knew she was suffering emotionally. My father was also hurting, as were my husband and children. I felt as if I were constantly being pulled between the two women. Eventually I couldn’t take it any more. I was emotionally exhausted and my family was suffering.

I decided it was time to assert my legal rights. The social worker had told me that I could end the relationship whenever I wanted to and my birth mother would have to accept my decision. I emailed her a letter. She was shocked but accepted my decision.

To say my mother was ecstatic by my decision is an understatement. She had set me free and I had come back to her. I had always known I would, but she hadn’t.

At first I felt relieved that I no longer had to worry about keeping two mothers happy. Then I began to feel cheated. My birth mother had received what she wanted – she had always wondered what had happened to the baby she had given away and whether she was okay and happy – now she knew. My mother had received what she wanted – her daughter that she didn’t have to share with another woman.

But what had I got out of it all – nothing. In fact, I had come full circle – although I had learned the answers to some questions, now there were new ones to deal with, the answers to which I would probably never learn.

I felt like I didn’t truly belong anywhere. I had been conceived in error. I was a mistake. My mere existence was enough to cause others pain. My parents had been so desperate for a child they would have taken any baby, irrespective of whether she was a little girl with brown eyes and blonde hair. How did I know I was truly meant to be with them? How did I know I was even meant to be?

My counsellor took me to the Bible…“I am beautifully and wonderfully made…” “I knew you when you were in your mother’s womb…” “Can a woman forget the baby at her breast? Though she may do so, I will not forget. I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God doesn’t make mistakes. Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.”

There was this childless couple who loved the Lord. They prayed earnestly for a child and he heard their plea. He saw a woman who was pregnant with a girl who would have brown eyes and blonde hair, and He said: “This baby for this couple.”

And so when I was born I may not have been in control of my destiny, but Someone else was. As the nurses took me from my birth mother and placed me in my mother’s arms, there was another pair of Hands under theirs, directing them – God’s Hands. It did not matter that I had no control of where I was going – He was in control.

When I was in the depths of depression and struggling to come to terms with it all, I used to cry to God: “Why did You let this happen to me?”

Now that the fog has finally cleared from my brain and I am able to place everything in perspective and can see where I am now and where I could have been, I ask God: “Lord, why were You so mindful of me?”

I still have wounds that open up and bleed from time to time. I still flinch when I hear the word “adoption” spoken, in any context. Birthdays are a happy-sad event, because that is the day my birth-mother gave me away. Mother’s Day and special family holidays such as Christmas are also an emotional time for me.

I am a work-in-progress but, thanks to everything I have learned over the past several years, I am better equipped to deal with the fallout as it happens. Most importantly, I have learned to place everything in God’s Hands.

I don’t know whether I’ll ever see my birth mother again before she dies, or whether, if something happens to her, her children will think to let me know, but that is in God’s Hands.

I don’t know whether I’ll ever have the courage to search for my biological father, because if I do I don’t know what I’ll find and whether I will like it. He may not want me to find him. But that too is in God’s Hands.

Having placed everything in His hands, I have peace. Because whatever the outcome is will be what God intended it to be. His Will is always perfect, and what is right for God is ultimately right for me.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Tiny Footprints by Jenn Minnich

Taren, a friend and birth mom had this and said I could use it. It is a poem that she had and I thought it was sweet.

Before his lungs could breathe
and his eyes could see,
his little feet
were walking all over me.

Before he can crawl,
and even talk,
his little toes,
took a walk.

They took a journey,
went far and wide.

They traveled to my soul
where they will reside.

With every second that passes
they make another move.

With every day that ends,
they dig another groove.

No matter how long or how far
we might be apart
his tiny little footprints
will be forever in my heart.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

This was sent to me from Adoption Voices...

Mary from Adoption voices compiled these places together on her blog and I wanted to share them with you as well. Just wanted to give her the credit for it. Thanks Mary! Her blog is...http://mamamem.blogspot.com/p/adoptive-parents-profile-exposure.html

Adoption Promotion

If you are a prospective adoptive parent and would like to spread the word about your desire to adopt, here's a list of ADOPTION ADVOCATES who are happy to link your adoption profile or blog to their site:

e-mail Lindsey (mrs. r) of the r house at theerhouse@gmail.com
e-mail Kim of Simply Me at kimsueellen@gmail.com
e-mail Jessa of For Birthmothers by Birthmothers at birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com
e-mail Megan or Shane at shaneandmegan@gmail.com
e-mail Karine at karinelynn2000@yahoo.com
leave a comment on http://becauseadoptionmatters.blogspot.com/
LDS Couples: e-mail Amanda of LDS Adoption Connection at wishes4happiness@gmail.com
e-mail feigningfertility@gmail.com to display your button or profile
e-mail Stephanie at

In addition, Kim and Megan & Shane (listed above) are willing to highlight couples hoping to adopt on their blogs. As well as Karine on this blog :) If your on the hopeful adoptive list, you will be on for a week at a time and it will rotate continuely.

Shane has created a great tutorial on how to design your own web button to promote your adoption.

If you are interested in having a professional DESIGN A WEB BUTTON or PASS-ALONG CARDS for your adoption check out these designers (who have all been touched by adoption, incidentally):

Contact Erin of Designer Blogs at designerblogs@gmail.com
Contact Kelly of Modern Blitz Designs at bellykell441@gmail.com
Contact Leisha of Leisha Kelsey Design at leishakelsey@gmail.com

Monday, March 1, 2010

An interesting blog to check out....

I happened to come upon a blog that belongs to a Birth Mother. She is very honest about what she thinks and feels about adoption.
On her blog, I saw this quote," I CHOOSE"
I am not sure who the author is...but I liked it and wanted to share it with everyone.
" I CHOOSE......
To live by CHOICE not by Chance;
To make Changes, not Excuses;
To be Motivated, not Manipulated;
To be Useful, not Used;
To Excel, not Compete;
I choose SELF-ESTEEM, not Self Pity;
I choose to LISTEN to my INNER VOICE;
Not the random Opinion of others."

No matter who we are or what situation we are currently living... that was really good advice. The most important thing that quote said was "I CHOOSE" we are each able to choose for ourselves... how to live, act, play and how we treat others. I Choose can be very empowering :)

If you would like to read some very interesting views on adoption check this blog out.
This is a Birth Mother's Blog, so if you do not agree with her, please don't leave nasty comments.
Just respect that we all see things differently and in her blogs you see her honest thoughts and feelings on Adoption.